Dear Cancer,

I don’t view myself as unlucky for being diagnosed with you at age 31. I view myself as an extremely fortunate person to have found you early, in an organ that I can live without. That being said, in the unlikely event that in the end you decide to metastasize and think you’ve won the battle, you haven’t.

I am not afraid, I am thankful. Thankful for the love that has surrounded me through this journey, and for the things I’ve been able to experience while being here on this fabulous and beautiful planet. God has blessed me with a wonderful life full of love, passion, and adventure. When I look back on my 31 years – my heart is full. I have two beautiful daughters and the best husband a girl could ever ask for. I have two sisters who are my closest friends and are two of my favorite people in the world. I have the most selfless and caring mother who always wants to lend a hand. Cancer, she already beat you this year.

I am extremely lucky to have been able to experience the things I have, to have the extended family I have, and to have the close friends that I have.

Yes, I do wish with all my heart to see my daughters grow up. I wish to spend more time with my husband. I wish to do more charity work. I wish to see more of the world- and if I am lucky enough to be free of you in a short while, I know exactly where my priorities sit.

I know that I was not promised any amount of time on this earth. I will take no day for granted, waste no time with a loved one arguing, and will expend no energy on negative thoughts, because in the end I have no idea when my time is up- and it could be soon.

I’ve always been a firm believer of living life to the fullest- and I feel as if I have done just that. Dear cancer, I’m sorry to say, that no matter what happens- YOU LOSE. I’ve already lived.

Sincerely,

Misha


18

kiss

Gillingham

Showing 16 comments
  • yvonnelaura

    Amazing article! An inspiring article with a great life lesson. How you wrote this, with such strength makes me look at you (and life) in a different way. You are right, live is amazing and we should live it to the fullest.. never regret a thing.

    I am praying for you, but somewhere I know you are going to be alright.

    • Misha

      Yvonne, Thank you for your kind words! And for being the only one who ever leaves comments on my blog LOL!

  • Carole Benshaw

    So touched by your beautiful description of your family, and all that you treasure . They are all beautiful people, as you are. Remember , as I learned Cancer was only a word , and your fighter personality is already there.!! they gave me a letter to fight or flight ! And after that day, my family, and beautiful daughters, and all the health care professionals that embraced me, made my journey possible, even when i didnt feel like it. I want to wish you Love , and strength , and any resources to help you . the statistics are all good , and Mary Shomans website on about.com is amazing, and helped me tremendously to answer so many questions. Shes written about 7 books on thyroid, and is at barnes noble. Love and light, Carole

    • Misha

      Carole, your sweet message means a lot. Thank you. It is very reassuring to hear stories about other people, such as yourself, who have pulled through this with no complications. I’m definitely not glad to have cancer in my body, but I am glad that it is in my thyroid instead of somewhere else, as it sounds like there is a 95% success rate with this treatment. Thank you for sending me your doctor’s info. Hugs!!!

  • Kiersten

    Misha this is beautiful. Crying as I read it from Iceland- somewhere you inspired me to see and explore on my own. I couldn’t be more proud to call you my friend and I’m in admiration of your strength. You’ll beat this. xo

    • Misha

      Kiersten, a very kind message from a very kind gal! Thank you. Have a wonderful time in Iceland!!!!

  • Vanessa Riivers

    Sitting in my bed in London with tears running down my face. Thank you for living your life every day in a way that has inspired so many, including myself. I would’t have believed I could do even half the things I’ve done without you and would not be where I am today without your friendship, support, inspiration and love. You are an amazing, mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend and I am praying for your every day. I know you can beat this!!!! Love you!! xoxo

    • Misha

      V- no tears! I honestly could not be happier then I am today. I needed a little wake up call, and I got it. I am so thankful for everything and everyone in my life, especially my closest friends, such as yourself. I love you!

  • Angela

    Dear Cancer,
    Guess what? Misha has a very feisty friend who has told her repeatedly, that I would punch a baby for her! Just letting you know before you get too comfortable.
    Talk about a freeloader, I mean I know her travels are amazing and are easily the envy of many…but come on now.
    She has plenty of travel buddies if you haven’t noticed, and she doesn’t need you.
    In the chance there is room for one more…clearly that would be me:)
    My advice to you, is that you pack your little bags and get on the first flight out of here.

    • Misha

      Hahahaha Angela!!! This free-loading cancer definitely just wanted to travel for free- What a mooch!

  • Nate Ellis

    Very well written, Mish. Yeah, I teared up a little when I read “I will take no day for granted, wast no time arguing with a loved one….” I see my mom argue with her sisters far too often and it breaks my heart because I know that any of us could be gone at any time. But not you, hon! Not now and not for something this effing stupid. Keep a good attitude and kick this thing in the butt! This is just a speed bump. Now dig in and fight!

    • Misha

      Thanks Nate! That “arguing with a loved one” part goes deep because it is such a waste of time and energy- and we’ve all done it. But when you look at the big picture, the things people argue about are almost ALWAYS miscommunications or misunderstandings. Anyway, it’s nice to hear from you! Thanks for the comment. Xx

  • Hilda

    Misha,
    This is beautiful. Your outlook is amazing and youbarevSO right, thank God it is in your thyroid and not anywhere else.
    My best friend was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year. It was removed, she had treatment and she has NO traces of it anywhere now. She is living life to the fullest and cancer didn’t win. Keep living, cancer isn’t going to win.
    Hilda

    • Misha

      Hilda, thank you! Glad to hear your friend is doing well! I received a bit of bad news- the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes, so in January I will be doing some radiation treatments. I am hopeful that come February I will be cancer free. Until then, I’m going to live it up =)

  • Maya Beth

    What a beautifully written and heartfelt message. I remember you from years ago and occasionally check on fair verona to admire your beautiful pictures and drool over the amazing places you travel. I am so saddened for you that you have to face this battle, but your spirit and your energy are palpable and I have total faith that you will knock cancer out of the park. Your girls are beautiful…it breaks my heart as a mother to think of what you are going through. My aunt had thyroid cancer and it too had metastasized to some lymph nodes but she is now five years cancer-free! You’ve got this, mama. Sending you lots of love, light, and cancer-ass-kicking energy.

    xox,
    Maya Beth
    mylifeasmaya.com

    • Misha

      Hi Maya! Thank you for your love and light =) Glad to hear your aunt is doing well. That is the same story I keep hearing from people who have had friends diagnosed with thyroid cancer so I assume I will come out of this just fine. I looked at your blog- I love it!

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